The 377 readers who responded to Entertainment Weekly‘s April 27 postcard, ”A Fuss Over Musburger,” provided a split decision over the future of the briefly unemployed sportscaster. Many fans favored a kick back, chill out, hang loose life for him, with 11 predicting that another high-profile TV job would come his way quickly. Seven readers thought he should write a scathing tell-all about CBS. And then there were the true Brent admirers: ”Become an Obsession model,” wrote one woman from Buffalo, N.Y. ”Open a lambada dance instruction studio in Topeka, Kan.,” advised another Buffalo woman. ”Model boxer shorts!” ”Pose in Playgirl!” and ”Pose nude in Cosmopolitan. He’s terribly handsome!” arrived unsigned, but postmarks revealed they came from Wilmington, Del.; Chattanooga, Tenn.; and Bedford, Tex., respectively.
The detractors were equally outspoken: 43 suggested he ”get a real job” and learn some humility. ”Go to Alaska and suck the oil off the rocks from the Valdez spill!” wrote one. ”Host American Gladiators!” suggested another. ”Study with Bo Jackson, because Bo knows sports!” huffed a third. Twenty-one readers suggested he open a fast-food restaurant serving a blue-plate special, the Musburger. The strange ideas didn’t stop there. ”Become a TV preacher,” one card said. ”Take up synchronized swimming and compete in the next Olympics,” offered another. ”Get a sex change and replace Deborah Norville,” wrote a third. A fourth suggested ”his own workout tape: Musburcize!” The favorite? A limerick from Fred and Lynne Otto of Pontiac, Mich., which poetically advised what Brent should have done between paychecks:
Jane Pauley I’ll call on the phone, Say there’s no reason to feel all alone. With our money, I gather, We could buy out Dan Rather, Then we’ll call CBS all our own.