Follow me on this one: In The Last Prostitute Loah Campos (Kiss of the Spider Woman’s Sonia Braga) used to be a prostitute, and a legendary one at that; now she raises horses. Two teenage boys (Stand By Me’s Wil Wheaton and The Day After’s David Kaufman) run away from summer camp in hopes of losing their respective virginities to Loah — they don’t know she’s retired. (It’s the early ’60s, and news travels slowly, I guess.) When they get to her Texas farmhouse and learn the truth, they stay on-as farmhands. There, the boys spend the summer Learning About Life (i.e., watching horses being born as sentimental music swells on the soundtrack). Oh yes: Equal Justice’s Cotter Smith wraps his tongue around a slippery Southern accent to portray a charmer who’d really like to apply his tongue to the nape of Loah’s neck.
Are you still with me? I appreciate that, but neither your effort nor mine was worth it: Although it’s sincere as all get-out, The Last Prostitute is foolish and trite. D