Oh, dear. Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t content with being the prettiest of the martial-arts movie idols. He wants to act. This kick-boxing remake of the Douglas Fairbanks Jr. swashbuckler The Corsican Brothers allows ”the Muscles From Brussels” to essay two roles: twins separated at birth who reunite 25 years later to quash their parents’ killers. How do you tell these binary biceps-bulgers apart? Their accessories, mainly: One’s a lowlife greaser who favors semiautomatic weaponry, the other’s a Valley twit with a black belt in facial rearrangement. Van Damme’s last opus, Lionheart, was unabashed about being nothing more than one long, expertly choreographed donnybrook, but Impact wastes time on talky scenes that make the Samantha/Serena episodes of Bewitched seem like special-effects masterpieces. If you want no-frills kick-boxing action, rent one of Jean-Claude’s earlier films. All you need to know about this one is that he fights himself — and loses. D
Genre: Drama, Action/Adventure; Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Cory Everson; Director: Sheldon Lettich; Author: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sheldon Lettich; Runtime (in minutes): 109; MPAA Rating: R; Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Posted January 17 2015 — 1:02 PM EST
- Mariah Carey's new single is the best '90s throwback of the day
- Daytime Emmys 2015 winners are...
- 'Game of Thrones': Kit Harington on Jon's brutal decision
- 'Game of Thrones' team explains their choices on Sansa's story
- 'Avengers: Age of Ultron': $200+M so far
- Jay Z on Tidal: 'We aren't perfect, but we are determined'
- 'Grey's Anatomy' fans launch petition to bring McDreamy back