EW Staff
June 26, 1992 AT 04:00 AM EDT

When does cool become cold? Sometimes all it takes is a bad movie, or a bad attitude, or the feeling that the thrill is gone, gone gone, Talk about chilling-the selections on this page are pure ice.

Columbus Movies
Nothing tireder than beating a dead conquistador.

Clubs, coke, yams, minimalist writers, geeky guys all in black — even Jay McInerney knows enough to come in out of the snow.

Hand Signs
Including high fives, power fists, V’s-for-peace (still favored by Ringo Starr, which is a temperature tip-off).

Anything Skewered in The Player
You can kiss Range Rovers and designer bottled water goodbye.

Mickey Rourke
It’s the gold tooth, the greasy hair, the whole fetid gestalt.

Any Original Still Living Cast Member of Saturday Night Live
Danny, Chevy, Laraine. Hey, excu-u-se us.

Tattooed, Pierced, and Otherwise Mutilated Body Parts
Except on Roseanne Arnold.

Cast Changes To Shore Up Ailing TV Series
Julia Duffy did not redo Designing Women. A new cast did not wow L.A. Law juries.

Overbearing Political Correctness
And related benefiteers. (Do you really want to eat something called Rainforest Crunch?)

Boxing Movies
A hard left jab to Rocky and his fellow contenders

Steven Spielberg
Time to put away those decoder rings in the Overgrown-Boys Club.

Wannabe Brothers
Frank Stallone sort of sings, Jim Belushi sort of acts, Christopher Penn sort of exists in the shadow of ultra-classy Sean.

Taking Oneself Too Seriously
Woody Allen lost in shadows and fog. Bette Midler for the birds. Lighten up.

Rambling, Unprepared Awards Acceptance Speeches
Downright rude. Stop it. (And, um, er, ah, that, um, includes you, Jonathan Demme.)

Outing Celebrities
Unless they’re homophobic politicians.

Ice Cube, Ice-T, Vanilla Ice
These tags are frozen stiff.

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