1 Jackson Browne/Daryl Hannah
The two signs that a relationship is over: calling the cops to break it up and writing a song called ”She Ran Into a Door.”
2 Tina Brown
Her debut at The New Yorker. I’ll take her sidewalk frank of a mag over the old ’50s fondue party any day.
3 Where is Joe Merchant?
The apocalypse must be close. Our best-selling authors this week are Jimmy Buffett and Rush Limbaugh.
4 Magic Johnson
Gee, Mr. President, doesn’t he know the wheels of government turn slow? What’s his big rush?
5 The Ted Kennedy book
We know politics makes strange bedfellows, it’s the quantity that’s the surprise.
6 Mr. Baseball
Tom Selleck plays a major leaguer shipped to da land of da rising bums. Maybe he’ll make the Pagoda of Fame.
7 Mariel Hemingway nude
Civil Wars makes a network-TV breakthrough. But it was beaten by a dirty movie on cable that night.
8 Frank Zappa
And Jerry Garcia…How long can it be before Bob Dylan comes down with gout?
9 Ford model Sandera Bernhard
She’s a little different from their other models. She pays the client $1,800 an hour to pose.
10 Damned in the USA
A documentary film on censorship. One of the sexiest and horniest ever. A must see!
11 Innocent Blood
Become a vampire, drink blood, and live forever. What’s so scary? It’s better than smart drinks.
12 Glow riders
Neon lights under your car for that I-just-beamed-down-from-Venus look. In an ‘84 Chevy?
13 Of Mice and Men
First The Last of the Mohicans, now this. Did some studio buy of all of Cliffs Notes?
14 1993 Madonna calendar
I’m going to wait for the pocket version: Body Parts At-a-Glance.
15 The cultural elite
They weren’t a problem in 1776.