In the movie Trespass, the Ices Cube and -T swap rapid-fire raps for bullet-spitting weapons and lines like ”I’m gonna blast greedy little suckas that trespass.” Musicians-turned-actors often pack heat in order to pack audiences into movie theaters. Unfortunately, toting a gun seems to shoot a digit off rockers’ IQ scores. Here is some perilous prose from ammo-fortified pop stars.
Chris Isaak, clown-faced hit man at fast-food window in Married to the Mob (1988): ”Bonjour, hola, willkommen, howdy — may I take your order?”
Elvis Presley, malcontent cowpoke in Charro! (1969): ”You got a cannon pointing at your head, and you’re willing to let a buncha riffraff make you crawl?”
Kris Kristofferson, Billy the Kid in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973): ”That last thump got my guts going. I need to go to the outhouse.”
Johnny Cash, laconic lawman in Stagecoach (1986): ”Just because a man doesn’t wanna die doesn’t mean he’s yella.”
David Bowie, bartending bandit in The Linguini Incident (1992): ”They’re blanks, dear.”
Reba McEntire, mercenary homemaker in Tremors (1989): ”You didn’t get penetration, even with the elephant gun!”