Bruce Fretts
April 16, 1993 AT 04:00 AM EDT

The Woman Who Loved Elvis‘ Sally Kirkland is only one of many high-profile actors to appear on Roseanne this season (the latest to make his debut — The Rocky Horror Picture Show‘s Tim Curry). To honor these guest stars’ mostly dubious contributions, we present the first annual Roseys:

The Lee Strasberg Award for Method Acting Above and Beyond the Call of Duty: Sally Kirkland, as Darlene’s boyfriend’s verbally abusive mom.

The Funny, She Doesn’t Look Remotely Related to Roseanne Award: Joan Collins, as Conner cousin Ronnie.

The Hippest Guest Star Award: Sandra Bernhard, as Lunch Box co-owner and latter-day lesbian, Nancy Thomas.

Hippest Unhip Guest Star Award: Morgan Fairchild, as Nancy’s lesbian lover, Marla.

The Equal Opportunity Award for Casting Without Regard to Age: Shelley Winters, 70, as Roseanne’s grandma, and Estelle Parsons, 65, as Roseanne’s mother.

The Sure, He Won an Oscar 35 Years Ago, But His Acting Skills Have Gone Sayonara Award: Red Buttons, as Roseanne’s mom’s boyfriend, Jake.

The Maybe They Should Have Cast Sissy Spacek Instead Award: Loretta Lynn, as herself.

The Where’s My Gun? Award for Most Miscast Action Star: Wings Hauser, as the Conners’ nice-guy neighbor, Ty Tilden.

The Tom Arnold Award for Crassest Cross-Promotion: Tom Arnold, as Roseanne’s favorite TV funnyman, Jackie Thomas.

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