1 Tommy on Broadway
$55 a ticket. See me. Touch me. Fleece me.
2 Garry Shandling
The latest name mentioned as a replacement for Letterman. If he says no, they’ve got the ”Yule Log” lined up.
3 Bob Dole
A walking sound bite. He’s on TV so much, the Juiceman wishes he got equal time.
4 Farm Aid VI
Help for those to the manure born.
5 Indian Summer
Reunion of old yuppie friends at a summer camp. Low-cholesterol Meatballs.
6 Indecent Proposal’s Argument
Couples fight over this movie like it’s going to be a big issue in their marriage. The real battles are over snoring.
7 Take That
Publicists say this British version of New Kids on the Block will be the next Beatles. More like the Bay City Rollers — if they’re lucky.
8 Joey ButtaFuoco
A cubic zirconia in the rough.
9 David Lee Roth
Busted for allegedly buying weed in a New York park. The cops got suspicious — he didn’t look homeless.
The latest yuppie hobby. There’s nothing like getting your hands in the dirt. At least that’s what the gardener tells me.
11 Diana Ross
Out with a new album. If it doesn’t sell, it could be her swan diva.
12 Dominick Dunne
His novel has nothing to do with the Kennedys of Massachusetts. His rich, troubled Irish family is from Connecticut.
13 Kelly McGillis
Her husband was picked up in a prostitution sting right after she had their baby. There must be an explanation — he just hasn’t thought of it yet.
14 Dudley Moore
We know why they call his new show Dudley. We just don’t know why they call it a comedy.
15 Splitting Heirs
A movie about British royals acting like a bunch of buffoonish twits. Who’s gonna believe that?