EW Staff
May 14, 1993 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Sometimes you want to go to a bar like Cheers, where everybody knows your name, but will everybody there know all the lyrics to the show’s theme? We think not. As a sure-fire bar-bet trivia stumper, we hereby present the considerably more bizarre, not-heard-over-the-credits second and third verses of the haunting ”Theme from Cheers (Where Everybody Knows Your Name)” by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo:

All thise nights/When you’ve got no lights/The check is in the mail/And your little angel/Hung the cat up by its tail/And your third fiancée ddin’t show/Sometimes you wanna go/Where everybody knows your name…

Roll out of bed/Mr. Coffee’s dead/The morning’s looking bright/And your shrink ran off to Europe/And didn’t even write/And your husband wants to be a girl/Be glad there’s one place in the world/Where everybody knows your name…

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