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”I wore them for about a month, but I couldn’t stick with it. I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!” — Kramer (Michael Richards), explaining why he eschews boxer shorts, on Seinfeld

”You men. You say you have these great friendships, but all you really have is just another person to eat chips and scratch with.” — Roseanne on Roseanne

”Well, where we gonna get all that syrup and rubber bands?” — Grace (Brett Butler), after a studly guy tells her he can read her mind, on Grace Under Fire

”After 19 years, Robert MacNeil (of MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour) is retiring. I think I speak for all Americans when I say … which one is MacNeil?” — David Letterman on Late Show

Originally posted October 28 1994 — 12:00 AM EDT

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