Most Physically Beautiful Use of Bodily Effluvia Apollo 13, for the crystalline cloud of urine released into space.
Most Spiritually Beautiful Use of Bodily Effluvia Ace Venture 2: When Nature Calls, for making mucus a token of love.
Best Sisters Julia Roberts and Kyra Sedgwick in Something to Talk About.
Best Performance By A Pair of Lips Masked man Val Kilmer’s in Batman Forever.
Worst Performance By A Pair of Lips Cindy Crawford’s, mouthing her lines in Fair Game.
Most Gratuitous Happy Ending Woody Allen doesn’t get the girl — he gets his wife — in Mighty Aphrodite.
Nicest News Greg Kinnear can act.
Guiltiest Pleasure Seeing Robert DuVall dance around with a dead animal on his head in one of his many shamelessly nutso, Travis Bickle-goes-Puritan scenes in The Scarlet Letter.
Actress Most in Need of Playing a Yuppie Jennifer Jason Leigh
Actress Most in Need of Playing a Lowlife Winona Ryder
Most Delightfully Implausible Scene Samuel L. Jackson just happens to be driving by when a jet of water pops Bruce Willis up from underground in Die Hard With a Vengeance.
Best Evidence the English Do Costume Drama Best Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility
Sketchiest Excuses for Comedy Adam Sandler’s billy madison and Chris Farley’s Tommy Boy
Sketchiest Excuses for History Jefferson in Paris and Panther
Best Nail-Biter Once Were Warriors
Sincerest Marketing Gimmick A Little Princess seemed so nice, Warner Bros. released it twice.
Least Poetic Justice Leonardo DiCaprio as Jim Carroll in The Basketball Diaries and Rimbaud in Total Eclipse.
Best PG-13 Drama Set in a City of Super-Smart Apes Congo
Best NC-17 Drama Set in a City of Super-Smart Apes Showgirls