Soundbites |



The funniest TV lines from Feb. 2, 1996

”Yeah, well, just be glad he’s not playing a smaller instrument.” – Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), after her mom (Marlo Thomas) spied the Ugly Naked Guy playing the cello, on Friends

”It’s a list I made up when I was 12 of things I wanted to do before I die. Omigod. How embarrassing. No. 1: Touch a boobie.” – Drew Carey on The Drew Carey Show

”Lisa Marie has filed for divorce. According to her attorney she’s going to make him pay through the noses.” – Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”George Burns turned 100 years old today. I don’t know the secret to his longevity, but I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope Pauly Shore doesn’t know it either.”