Gymnast Kerri Strug’s ankle wasn’t the only lame thing at the Atlanta Olympics. Amid the hype and hoopla, there were more than a few stumbles. Here’s our medal ceremony:
Worst promo: Mr. Rhodes. Tom Rhodes, the Michael Bolton of stand-ups, is so unfunny, the ads actually have to explain that his new show is ”a comedy.”
Best promo: The Jeff Foxworthy Show. You don’t have to be a redneck to enjoy the witty and brazen spot poking fun at The Wizard of Oz — and at ABC for dropping the show.
Most shameless piggybacking: NBC’s promos likening its new sci-fi series Dark Skies to Independence Day. Yeah, it’s just like ID — except without all those expensive special effects, which are the only good thing about ID.
Best alternative to Baywatch: Beach volleyball. But why was ex-basketball giant Bill Walton a commentator?
Best argument against network expansion: NBC’s endless ads for its sister stations CNBC and MSNBC.
Most-replayed footage: Kerri Strug’s final vault. We’ve seen it more times than the Zapruder film.
Most inspiring ”Olympic moment”: Al Trautwig’s profile of pint-size Turkish weight lifter Naim Suleymangolu, a.k.a. Pocket Hercules.
Most misused verb: Medal, as when equestrian announcer Jim Simpson said of a rider, ”She’s poised to medal.” Meddle is a verb; medal is not.
Most misused noun: Histrionics, as when gymnastics commentator John Tesh said, ”Histrionics are against him.” Uh, we think you meant history, John.
Most overused adjective: Awesome, especially by ex-gymnast Elfi Schlegel. What’s it all about, Elfi?
Most out-of-her-depth commentator: Valley Girl swimmer Summer Sanders. She should have kept her job as cohost of MTV’s game show SandBlast.
Best slow burn: Bob Costas’ thinly veiled contempt for tennis commentator Bud Collins, who insisted on calling him Bobby C.
Best use of restraint: NBC went commercial free for an hour during the opening ceremonies.
Worst use of restraint: NBC delayed airing the women’s gymnastics finals for five hours to maximize viewership.
Best show of sisterhood: Rival U.S. sprinters Gail Devers and Gwen Torrence holding hands after the 100-meter dash. Or were they trying to stab each other with their Freddy Krueger-like nails?
Most explicit nudity: U.S. swimmer Tom Dolan’s butt cleavage. He’s got a future in refrigerator repair.
Most explicit sex: Russian coach Leonid Arkaev kissing male gymnasts on the lips. And they can’t show the same thing on Melrose Place?