J.R. Taylor
July 25, 1997 AT 04:00 AM EDT

War is dull. This plodding cheapie (not to be confused with Norman Mailer’s Tough Guys Don’t Dance) crams in enough plotlines for a miniseries, and not a single one is comprehensible. After a lame opening right out of a TV cop show, the ”action” in Dead Men Can’t Dance then moves to a coed military training camp where recruits learn how to urinate in their pants. By the time anyone sees any combat in North Korea, the inept acting and ludicrous story will leave you utterly uninterested in whether the Commies get their hands on nuclear detonators. D

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