Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes | EW.com

TV

Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV's funniest lines from September 12 to September 18, 1997

”Eric Douglas is currently in Thailand doing radio and print ads for a popular local beer. It’s rumored his probation officer gave him permission to leave the country and, in fact, even encouraged [it].”
CRAIG KILBORN on The Daily Show

”Rodney King has started his own record label. I think that’s great, because if anyone can recognize a good beat, it’s Rodney King.”
CHRIS SPENCER on Vibe

”When President Clinton leaves [Martha’s Vineyard], the locals have a lot to do: Take down those ‘Welcome, President Clinton’ banners; roll back the red carpet; go down and add zeros to the sign at McDonald’s.”
DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

”For a tabloid editor to point out that they have standards different than another is kind of invoking the doctrine of relative filth: ‘I am not so bad as long as I can point out somebody who’s worse.”’
TOM SELLECK on Larry King Live