Glossary: Jerry Seinfeld |


Glossary: Jerry Seinfeld

All you need to know to understand ''Seinfeld''s main character

ANDERSON, LONI Exemplar of the sort of woman his dad thinks he should date 2

ARMY PETE Lame wooden doll he got instead of G.I. Joe 154

B.O. SQUAD Strike force he thinks should roam the city, washing down smelly people 59

BASEBALL His No. 1 sport and frequent source of analogies (e.g., this crack regarding Elaine’s prolific dating: ”She’s batted around and now she’s back at the top of the order again” (149); he plays left field on his softball team, the Friends of Clyde (7)

BRIDGE OF THE STARSHIP ‘ENTERPRISE’ His idea of the perfect male living room: a comfortable chair and remote-controlled big-screen TV 10

BUGS BUNNY Rabbit from whom Elaine says he’s gleaned all knowledge of high culture 47

CALLING IT Childish method of dispute solving he prefers; also partial to coin flipping and Inka Dinka

CEREAL Boxes line his kitchen shelf: As George says, ”Jerry’s a man whose life revolves around Superman and cereal.” 53

CHAMBERMAIDS Workers he and George lust after. Why? ”It’s a woman in your room.” 29

COLUMBUS, CHRISTOPHER He dismisses the reputed discoverer of America as ”Eurotrash”; explorer-wise, Magellan is tops with him. 22, 34

COUSIN JEFFREY Relative who organized an edible-foliage tour for New York City’s Parks Department (and starred in its production of The Mikado); favorite of Uncle Leo, who thinks he could write Jerry’s jokes

COVENANT OF THE KEYS His unspoken contract by which a friend hangs on to your keys, agreeing to use them only in an emergency. Kramer proves to be a chronic transgressor. 39

CULOTTES His mom made him wear a girl’s pair when he was 5 — the cause, his dad figures, of his alleged homosexuality. 55

DEAF DATE A woman you’ve seen but never spoken to 108

THE DEAL Multipurpose term used to describe his ”friendly sex” arrangement with Elaine (14); the pact between NYC’s drivers and its pigeons (”They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on statue defecation” (154); setup to any number of stand-up musings: ”What’s the deal with…?”

DOUBLE HOT FUDGE SUNDAE He has one, says Elaine, every time he bombs on stage. 128

DROP-OFF LAUNDRY ”Fluff and fold — the only way to live.” 12

EXCUSE ROLODEX Quick-reference list containing handy supply of false reasons (”waiting for the cable man…out of underwear”) he can’t see someone 4

GARGLING Something he does (very quietly) six times a day (21), to avoid…

GERMS His obsessive battle against these microscopic organisms has had him, among other things, throwing out a shoelace after it touched the floor of a men’s room, and tossing a belt because its buckle brushed against a urinal. 149, 151

GOLDEN BOY His prized T-shirt — the first he wears out of the laundry, until it ”dies” 75

‘I LOVE LUCY’ A show he’s proud to have never watched 9

JAGDISH ”Jerry” in ”Indian” 156

JOR-EL Superman’s father (and Jerry’s PIN number) 111