Jerry's grievances |


Jerry's grievances

Jerry's grievances -- a complete list of all the ways in which his dates weren't good enough

Although Elaine and George have capriciously dumped suitors (the former because an incarcerated beau will be bald by the time he gets out; the latter because of his girlfriend’s fondness for the phrase ”Happy, Pappy?”), Jerry is the King of the Idiosyncratic HeaveHo; even when he doesn’t do the rejecting, his passive-aggressive pickiness has women bolting. A list of grievances:

·For not laughing at all
·For laughing too strangely
·For having bad taste in commercials
·For having man hands
·For appearing to wear the same dress every day
·For being too altruistic
·For not kissing on the third date
·For possibly having fake breasts
·For not giving him a massage
·For not tasting his pie
·For shushing him in front of the TV
·For suggesting he share her toothbrush
·For having been with (and getting dumped by!) Newman
·For being his soul mate
·For being liked by his parents
·For eating peas one at a time
·For being too nice
·For apparently having no friends
·For not letting him play with her toys
·For having ”two faces” — attractive in one light, ugly in another
·For believing she got gonorrhea from a tractor seat
·For making him choose between seeing her and speaking in an imaginary voice inspired by her belly button
·For finishing his sentences