1 GODZILLA A huge, hideous monster that destroys everything in its path. It’s the Japanese word for Microsoft.
2 LEONARDO DICAPRIO He will star as a serial killer in American Psycho. O.J. Simpson calls it a ”date movie.”
3 MEXICAN SMOKE A haze from fires in Mexico has settled over the southern U.S. And suddenly everyone in Texas has the munchies.
4 FRASIER NBC has given it Seinfeld’s slot. As thanks, the cast will ask for a million dollars an episode next year.
5 KEITH RICHARDS The Rolling Stone hurt himself falling off a chair. But it’s good material for their next album, Hip Replacement.
6 PROMS For the first time in their lives, teens get to dress like adults. Like Cher.
7 MEMORIAL DAY A day to remember things. Like sunblock, towels, flip-flops, charcoal, and lighter fluid.
8 GRADUATION Why does the Class of ‘98 have so many job opportunities? Because so many computers think they graduated in 1898.
9 FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS They said the book couldn’t be made into a movie. They were right.
10 DAVID WELLS The improbable Yankee tossed a perfect game and got the key to the city. If he loses it, 7.3 million people have to change their locks.
11 MATT LAUER Today’s most eligible bachelor is engaged. Al Roker and the Gadget Guru move up a notch.
12 TARA LIPINSKI Snapple signed the 15-year-old skater as its new spokesperson because she’s something every teen wants to be. Rich.
13 GOT JESUS? The tag line of churches trying MTV-style advertising to attract new members. It works. Record stores report viewers asking for all his CDs.
14 TITANIC TOO A spoof is already in the works. In this one, they spend $200 million but only gross $1 million.
15 THE RAT PACK People say they miss the smoking, the drinking, and the carousing. Isn’t that why we have college football?