Zack Stentz
November 12, 1999 AT 05:00 AM EST

Ever wonder what those Internet IPO billionaires do with their loot? They can’t all be buying Six Million Dollar Man lunch boxes on eBay. Luckily, a new class of Web retailers has sprung up to cater to rich agoraphobics who combine sultan-of-Brunei-size bank accounts with Rain Man-style social skills.

For instance, if you’re looking for a home slightly more distinctive than a Malibu mansion, the people at Ireland’s National Property Network have just the ticket: ”Portlick Castle [http://www.clubi.ie/npn/vs848.htm] is an 11th-century Dillon Castle located on the shores of Lough Ree with 30 acres of walled gardens, wooded areas and pasture land.” Price? A mere $2.7 million.

Those seeking something balmier can surf to Vladi Private Islands (http://www.vladi-private-islands.de), which is offering, for $3 million, a lovely little spot called Tiano Island (www. vladi-private-islands.de/sales_islands/sites/09_tiano.html), a 16-acre chunk of French Polynesian paradise guaranteed to turn Thomas Crown green with envy (topless Rene Russo sold separately). To tool around the lagoon or head for Monaco on a moment’s notice, just place an order with Raffles Yacht in Singapore (http://www.rafflesyacht.com) for an 88-meter Proa 2000 custom-built outrigger yacht. Price? If you have to ask…And for the commute between summer and winter homes, aviation broker Streamline (http://www.streamline.uk.com) is only too willing to supply you with a private Boeing 757 at $40 million-50 million, complete with lounge, dining room, and master and guest bedrooms for those who find the Gulfstream V too cramped.

In the market for an exotic pet? Sharpeis and Akitas are passe, so why not impress the neighbors with a pair of African cheetahs, purchased (price negotiable) from South Africa’s Hoedspruit Research and Breeding Centre for Endangered Species (http://www.wildnetafrica.co.za/wildlifesales/hoedspruit)? So what if they think Siegfried and Roy have moved in next door? As for entertaining guests, Balducci’s (http://www.balducci.com) offers genuine Kobe beef — the finest steak on the planet — at $64.95 for an 8-ounce serving, and to wash it down, the Finest Wine site (http://www.finestwine.com) will provide a supply of 1961 Moet & Chandon Dom Perignon at $636 a bottle, along with a few 21-ounce tins of Dubernet foie gras at $132 each.

But if you’re really trying to impress that special someone, the tiny bits of crushed carbon we call diamonds can be found online as well, with a necklace ($9,900), earrings ($14,000), and ring ($6,200) offered by Greenleaf & Crosby (www. greenleafandcrosby.com) looking particularly fetching. But then, if you’re buying all this stuff over the Web, it’s not clear whom. you’ll have around to impress…. Should a visit to Brides From Russia (http://www.orc.ru/~brides) be next?

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