The funniest TV lines from the week of February 4, 2000

“Singer Melissa Etheridge and her partner, filmmaker Julie Cypher, say they chose David Crosby, the chronically overweight ex-drug addict and convicted felon, to be the sperm donor for their children because they apparently haven’t heard of genetics.” JON STEWART on The Daily Show

“Warren Beatty’s ascendance to the office of President would mark the first time in American history that one of our leaders f—ed the entire country before he got elected.” DENNIS MILLER on The Dennis Miller Show

“The band Twisted Sister have asked the Braves to stop introducing John Rocker with their song ‘I Wanna Rock.’ Rocker says he doesn’t care what they play, as long as it’s not by Queen, the Manhattan Transfer, or Foreigner.” BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect

“Mom, I’m home from school — I think I’m gonna go soak my feet.” BOBBY, on King of the Hill