EW Staff
March 17, 2000 AT 05:00 AM EST

Been noticing that every movie title — from Being John Malkovich to Hanging Up to Drowning Mona — must have that suddenly hipster verbal noun, the gerund? We have. In fact, we shudder to think what classic flicks would be called if they were hitting theaters today.

· The Hustler (Playing Pool)
· The Color of Money (Playing More Pool)
· Vertigo (Feeling Dizzy)
· Rear Window (Spying on Neighbors)
· Gone with the Wind (Burning Atlanta)
· All About Eve (Hating Eve)
· Star Wars (Fighting Darth)
· Taxi Driver (Driving a Taxi)

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