The funniest quotes on the Internet | EW.com

News

The funniest quotes on the Internet

Jet Li, Christina Aguilera, and Matthew McConaughey are quotable for April 7, 2000

”I have never kicked anybody’s butt. Because in the 21st century, I think, people train for martial arts in four ways. One is to become an actor, one is to become an Olympic champion, one is to protect yourself, and the last is to become healthier. So we never want anybody to learn martial arts to kick somebody…somewhere.”
Romeo Must Die’s Jet Li when asked if he’s ever used his martial-arts skills to beat up anyone, on Bigstar.com.

”Movies are all so different…. I know how five people line up at a starting line and do a 100-meter dash, but this is kind of like a competition between a pineapple and a lawn chair.”
The Insider director Michael Mann on the Oscars, on Entertainment Weekly Online

”It’s still being shipped — probably in the mail. They totally trick you; you walk off stage and they’re like, ‘OK, thank you very much!’ [and take it away]. I’m like, ‘Rip-off!”’
Recent Grammy winner Christina Aguilera on the whereabouts of her statuette, on Entertainment Weekly Online

”I think any instrument you play naked is the best way to play it.”
The Wedding Planner’s Matthew McConaughey, on his run-in with the cops while playing bongos in the buff, on Entertainment Tonight Online