Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes | EW.com

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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV's funniest lines from April 1-6

”This just in: The Pope has just apologized for Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.”
Billy Crystal on The 72nd Annual Academy Awards

”Since my acceptance speech last year, they asked me to stay the hell off the furniture.”
Roberto Benigni on The 72nd Annual Academy Awards

”A new program in New Jersey discourages teen pregnancy by giving teenagers a doll that simulates a real baby crying. The teens have to figure out if the baby is crying because it’s hungry, has a dirty diaper, or simply because it lives in New Jersey.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”A federal judge all but stuffed Elian Gonzalez into a garment bag yesterday, refusing to block efforts to return the 6-year-old to Cuba, but adding that he’s more than welcome to come back when he develops a curveball.”
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show