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The best internet quotes from the week of November 10, 2000

”[H]e’s bored when I bring him to work…. He came up to me and said, ‘Mommy, I want you to dribble on that piece of paper’ — he was referring to the contract — ‘and tear it up and stay home and play with me.’ ”
Sela Ward on her 6-year-old son, on E! Online

”I’ve got to kill Philip Seymour Hoffman. If I take him out, then I think a lot more stuff will come my way. I mean, he’s great. But he’s stealing most of my s—.”
Jason Alexander on why he doesn’t get offered more movie roles, on