Nothing can hurt Bruce Willis or penetrate his skin. Which explains why the Rogaine doesn’t work.
2. KATE MOSS
Thieves stole some $350,000 in jewelry from her London home. Police asked her how many rings were missing and she said, ”Those were necklaces.”
3. CATHERINE ZETA-JONES-DOUGLAS
Her wedding was so expensive, Steven Spielberg wasn’t a guest — he was the videographer.
4. SIR MICHAEL CAINE
Queen Elizabeth bestowed one of England’s highest honors on the cockney actor. A dental plan.
5. ELTON JOHN
The singer said he spent $57 million in 20 months. What hospital was he in?
6. MICHAEL CRICHTON
They named a dinosaur after the Jurassic Park author and ER creator. The Goldengooseasaurus.
7. KATHIE LEE
Her Heart of a Woman CD isn’t doing so well. Maybe a Monsters of Lite-FM tour could boost sales.
8. JESSE VENTURA
He’ll moonlight as an announcer for the new football league, the XFL. What does it say when the governor has to leave the state to find work?
9. LEANN RIMES
She’s trying to weasel out of a record contract she signed when she was 12. Has she no shame?
10. 102 DALMATIANS
More film antics of the needy, hyper-active puppies. It’s like being in a Ritalin clinic waiting room.
11. THE VIEW
In exchange for a few nice on-air words, Campbell’s soup paid for the show’s California trip. Now Saddam Hussein wants to send them to Paris.
12. MELANIE GRIFFITH
She’s in rehab for a prescription drug addiction. She can’t stop giving Antonio Banderas Viagra.
13. DAVID BLAINE
He’ll try to survive being frozen in a block of ice for 58 hours in Times Square. Big deal, people with slumlords do it all the time.
14. BRITNEY SPEARS & JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
Word is they’re house hunting together in Florida. Yes, they’re nearing retirement age.
15. SPICE GIRLS
Music stores report their new album, Forever, isn’t moving. They’re afraid that’s how long they’ll be stuck with it.