The best Sound Bites from 2000 | EW.com

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The best Sound Bites from 2000

The best Sound Bites from 2000 -- The most memorable quotes from our favorite stars

”Vancouver is very clean and very lovely. You have to use Canadian money there, though. It’s very strange.”
Charlize Theron, talking about working on location for Reindeer Games

”I’m in shock. And I’m so in love with my brother right now, he just held me and said he loved me.”
Angelina Jolie, accepting her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

”I feel like this is a dream, and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.”
Ray Romano, presenting an award at the 57th Annual Golden Globe Awards

”It vexes me. I’m terribly vexed.”
Joaquin Phoenix as Commodus in Gladiator

”If you feel that I am the perfect woman for you, and you choose me to be your bride, I will be your friend, your lover, and your partner, throughout whatever life has to offer us. We’ll have joy, maybe a few tears, but more ups than downs, and you will never be bored.”
Darva Conger, pitching herself as a bride to Rick Rockwell, on Fox’s Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?

”I can tell you unequivocally that Gwyneth and I are not going out. We’re not a couple. We’re not an item.”
Ben Affleck on former girlfriend and Bounce costar Gwyneth Paltrow

”Why does it always rain on me?/Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?”
Travis on ”Why Does It Always Rain on Me,” from The Man Who

”I don’t believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties.’
Kim Cattrall as Samantha, to a fellow partygoer on Sex and the City

”You will not get my vote. My vote will go to Richard. And I hope that is the one vote that makes you lose the money. If it’s not, so be it. I’ll shake your hand, and I’ll go on from here. But if I were to ever pass you along in life again and you were laying there, dyin’ of thirst, I would not give you a drink of water. I would let the vultures take you and do whatever they want with you, with no ill regrets. I plead to the jury tonight to think a little bit about the island that we have been on. This island is pretty much full of only two things — snakes and rats. And in the Mother Nature, we have Richard the snake, who knowingly went after prey, and Kelly, who turned into the rat that ran around like the rats do on this island, trying to run from the snake…. I feel we owe it to the island’s spirits that we have learned to come to know, to let it be in the end the way Mother Nature intended it to be…for the snake to eat the rat.”
Susan, ripping into her Tagi teammate Kelly on the final episode of Survivor

”My glorious prose, filtered through the minds of the insane… Who knows? They might improve it.”
Geoffrey Rush as the Marquis de Sade in Quills

”I’m going to throw up, and then I’m going to die!”
Jim Carrey as the Grinch, while hurtling toward Whoville in his sleigh

”I sang and danced my little heart out for the directors…. But what it boiled down to was that I was still too young and inexperienced: Most of the Mouseketeers were at least 12 and already had long résumés.’
Britney Spears in her autobiography Heart to Heart

”Don’t you know anybody who’s fully dressed?”
20/20’s Sam Donaldson, after guest Carson Daly cited Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears as friends

”They’re called boobs, Ed.”
Julia Roberts, explaining her character’s investigative strategy, in Erin Brockovich

”I’ve got nipples, Greg, can you milk me?”
Robert De Niro to prospective son-in-law Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents

”Finally, this edition reflects the author’s request that all previous epigraphs — including…’Ooh, look at me, I’m Dave, I’m writing a book! With all my thoughts in it! La la la!’ (Christopher Eggers) — be removed.’
Dave Eggers in the preface to his A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

”All over. New Jersey.”
Paul Weitz as Sam, after being asked where he’s from, in Chuck & Buck

”I’m so sick and tired of being admired/ That I wish that I would just die or get fired/And dropped from my label/And stop with the fables/I’m not going to be able to top on ‘My Name Is…”’
Eminem on ”The Way I Am,” from The Marshall Mathers LP

”As a gay man — I cannot believe that I am saying this — but I think I’ve finally met a girl that I want to sleep with.”
Will & Grace exec producer Max Mutchnick, after winning the Best Comedy Series Emmy

”Didn’t she ever go anywhere alone? Could he perhaps ambush her as she was going into a bathroom? But no — she even seemed to go there with an escort of four or five girls.”
Harry Potter, attempting to ask a girl out for the first time, in Goblet of Fire

”Who’s in charge of security? Apparently, the same guy who protected Sonny Corleone at the toll booth.”
Oscar host Billy Crystal, talking about the stolen statuettes

”And that’s kicking your ass!”
Drew Barrymore as wild angel Dylan, after demolishing an army of bad guys in Charlie’s Angels

”Pillsbury has been accused of trying to make the Pillsbury Doughboy appeal more to ethnic groups by making him look darker in recent commercials. Not only that, instead of giggling when you touch his stomach he says, ‘You want a piece of me, cracker?”’
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”This is not Mission: Difficult, Mr. Hunt, it’s Mission: Impossible.”
Anthony Hopkins to Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible 2

”(Bush’s) lead is now shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.”
CBS’s Dan Rather on election night

”Oh my God, if my closet were like this I never would have come out of it!”
Sean Hayes as Jack, upon seeing Karen’s walk-in closet, on Will & Grace

”It was nice to go into this fake courtroom. I immediately went up into the judge’s chair. Nice view. A preferable perspective.”
Robert Downey Jr. on his postprison role in Ally McBeal

”He said, ‘I want you to play an alcoholic, drug-addicted pornographer.’ And I said, ‘I’ve been rehearsing for this part for 20 years.”
Charlie Sheen on Live With Regis and Kathie Lee, talking about his brother, Emilio Estevez, casting him in Rated X

”You don’t have to get snippy about it.”
Al Gore to George W. Bush, after retracting his concession on election night

”He must’ve been distracted, thinking about executing some criminables.”
Jon Stewart, mocking Bush on The Daily Show

”At least I’m not in a Mexican prison, right?”
Groom-to-be Doug Allen, on the phone to his mother, on Fox’s Surprise Wedding

”I like Sex and the City, but of course, why wouldn’t I? I mean, it’s about four sexually frustrated women who sit around talking. I particularly like, frankly, the older one. Wait, I’m sorry. I’m thinking of The View.”
Garry Shandling, hosting the Emmys

”If you have four guys shooting and one getting killed, it gets the point across as much as if 12 guys are shooting and six guys get wiped out. Whereas in the days of Commando we wiped out as many as we could. But that was a different era.”
The 6th Day star Arnold Schwarzenegger, reminiscing about the good ol’ days

”It’s my duty to please that booty.”
Samuel L. Jackson as John Shaft, to a ladyfriend, in Shaft

”Helloo, beautiful people! And living skeletons.”
Presenter David Bowie at the VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards

”At this point people expect me to put my hand up my own a– and turn myself inside out in these movies. Or play double Dutch with my colon.”
Me, Myself & Irene star Jim Carrey, reflecting on his audience’s unrealistic expectations

Taxi Driver, there’s a lot of funny stuff in it. Really.”
Robert De Niro on his history with comedy

”When am I going to get a part about a guy… eating a sandwich? My Sandwich With André. That’s the movie I need to do.’
Kevin Bacon on making the F/X-heavy Hollow Man

”All the women who’re independent/Throw your hands up at me/All the honeys makin’ money/Throw your hands up at me/All the mamas who profit dollars/Throw your hands up at me…”
Destiny’s Child on ”Independent Women Part 1,” from the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack

”Girl done went from the Mickey Mouse Club to the strip club!”
Marlon Wayans, commenting on Britney Spears’ skintastic performance at the MTV Video Music Awards