POP As usual, it’s been an exhausting week of vertiginous highs and humbling lows for America’s teen queen. First, Britney Spears finally settled on a feature film in which to make her acting debut. The movie, tentatively – and creatively – titled ”Untitled Britney Spears Project,” will be directed by Tamra Davis and produced in part by the chart topper’s label, Jive Records, Variety reports. Apparently, the story is something of a ”Boys on the Side” meets ”Duets.” We were afraid of that.
FASHION Brassiere fanatic Spears has also been lambasted for aping late 80s Madonna garb by sartorial connoisseur Mr. Blackwell in his Ten Worst Dressed Women of 2000 decree. Spears ranked No. 1 on the annual list. ”Oops, she did it again,” Blackwell said. ”Her bra-topped collection of Madonna rejects are pure fashion overkill.” Of course, the ex- Mouseketeer is not alone in hopelessly tacky oblivion. Katherine Harris (No. 10) – the Florida Secretary of State and star of our recent election debacle – also made the list for ”paint by numbers makeup [that] screams out for discretion. A recount please!” The Material Mom’s recent incarnation as a diamond studded cowgirl ranked fourth, while Elizabeth Hurley’s notoriously skimpy outfits landed her in the fifth spot. ”Buy a coat,” Blackwell advised. She’s got to pay her union fines first.
REUNION Although it probably will not be as easy as ABC this time around, the Jackson 5 are planning a reunion album that will include performances by youngest brother Michael. While there is no word yet on the album’s release date, deep pocketed fans can catch the King of Pop in an upcoming Valentine’s Day charity panel at Carnegie Hall. The twice divorced scandal magnet plans to offer his hard earned wisdom on the subject of love.
LEAK Fox execs couldn’t have planned the bad publicity better themselves: A scandal erupted on the steamy reality show ”Temptation Island” even before its premiere. Fox had assured reporters that none of the gaming couples – whose object is to avoid infidelity on the island populated with potential love slaves – had children together. But it turns out that one of the stranded pairs lied about their parental status to producers. As a result, they are kicked out of the game midway through the show. Execs tactically declined to say which couple is the culprit. Meanwhile, after several late night conferences and a few under the table transfers of funds, we agreed to help them stoke curiosity about this morally reprehensible program by ensuring our readers know the show is totally and completely without merit.
SURVIVOR Speaking of soft realities, CBS’ CEO Les Moonves announced that the third and fourth installments of ”Survivor” have already been ordered, and that the follow up to ”Australian Outback” will air this fall. The net has also decided to move their Friday night ratings earner ”CSI” to the Thursday night time slot following ”Outback.” A very un- ”Friend”ly move… In related news, remember that ultra ironic Brown grad Greg Buis from the Pulau Tiga tribe? We thought it was pretty cool when he shunned the media amidst last summer’s ”Survivor” frenzy. (Self loathing is all the rage these days among journalists, you know.) Well, the 25 year old has signed a deal with T Management, Donald Trump’s modeling agency. Hooray, capitalism!