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Sound Bites

”It’s time to put the sex back in homosexual, Will!” Jack (SEAN HAYES) to his long-celibate friend, on Will & Grace

”Corrections officer Debb Eaton, the first person kicked off Survivor 2, said she was voted off because she wouldn’t participate in her tribemates’ X-rated conversations. Said Eaton, ‘I just want to get back to my genteel life of working in a prison and having sex with my stepson.”’ TINA FEY on SNL Primetime Extra

”You’re like Dodgers fans. We’re only in the seventh inning, and you’re already out of your seats.” Grissom (WILLIAM PETERSEN) to his comrades, who were ready to declare somebody guilty based on preliminary evidence, on CBS’ CSI

”Pope John Paul today confirmed his opposition to gay marriages. Said they are unnatural. Gay marriage is unnatural. Then he put on a pointy hat, his dress, and returned to never having sex at all.” BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect