1 PRETZELS Republicans have no one to blame but themselves. The Democrats tried to put warning labels on them.
2 PRINCE HARRY His father, Prince Charles, made him go to drug rehab for one entire day! And no watching polo on television for a month.
3 THAT ‘80S SHOW A show from the creators of That ’70s Show. Not, as many believe, a sitcom set in a nursing home.
4 MGM The legendary movie studio is reportedly on the block for $7 billion. But is eBay really the right place to sell it?
5 ENRIQUE IGLESIAS He says his famous father constantly disparaged his music career. He was hoping he’d become an idle, rich, womanizing playboy.
6 HARRISON FORD & MINNIE DRIVER It’s been reported that they’re dating. It’s a May-December 31 romance.
7 THE JAMIE KENNEDY EXPERIMENT Whoops! They misspelled excrement.
8 LARRY KING He’ll reportedly get at least $7 million a year to throw softball questions at celebrities. And yet he can’t afford a belt.
9 ADAM ANT The Brit has-been was charged with brandishing what looked like a deadly weapon in a pub. A can of Raid.
10 JON BON JOVI He’s playing a contractor fixing Ally McBeal’s house. Does that mean we never see him?
11 BRAD & JENNIFER After suing the company that made their wedding rings, he’ll now design jewelry for them. That should be punishment enough.
12 CELEBRITY WEDDINGS II Is anyone featured in Celebrity Weddings 1 still married?
13 ‘N SYNC They may appear as extras in the new Star Wars film. But George Lucas fans think that will attract a bunch of obsessive loonies with no real lives.
14 CATS The London musical will close in May after a 21-year run. But a little old lady plans to adopt the cast and keep them all in her one-bedroom home.
15 SNOW DOGS Floridian Cuba Gooding Jr. inherits a dogsled team of huskies in Alaska. Halfway through it, you wish he’d gotten money.