Don’t blame Cujo – seems it’s the Sci Fi Channel that’s been digging for old bones in Stephen King’s garden. It’s turned up the two-part miniseries Firestarter: Rekindled (airing March 10 and 11), a sequel to the King novel and 1984 flick starring Drew Barrymore. But does the update have the heat of the original? You be the judge.
HOT PLOT Charlie, a young girl with highly pinchable cheeks, harnesses her fiery powers to exact revenge on the evil men who killed her parents STARRING Barrymore (left), then an 8-year-old alum of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial ACTRESS’ SIGNATURE MOVE Clenches fist, breaks into a sweat, looks constipated SECURITY ITEM Teddy bear, kept close to her bosom ABUSE OF POWER When she overhears a pregnant woman getting the brush-off from her boyfriend, Charlie sets fire to the big jerk’s shoes WORDS OF WARNING ”Back off! Just back off!” NASTY VILLAIN George C. Scott, uglified with an eye patch, ponytail, and horrible laugh APOCALYPSE NOW REDUX Martin Sheen once again plays a military man trying to gain superiority over Charlie THAT ‘80S SHOW cameo Dynasty’s Heather Locklear, as Charlie’s ill-fated mom TV DEJA VU When Locklear says ”When do I get my money?” you immediately think of Sammy Jo.
HOT PLOT Charlie, a young woman with highly pinchable glutes, harnesses her fiery personality to prevent some evil kids from killing total strangers STARRING Marguerite Moreau (left), the 24-year-old costar of Queen of the Damned ACTRESS’ SIGNATURE MOVE Stands erect, stares intently, looks braindead SECURITY ITEM Fire extinguisher, kept close to her bed ABUSE OF POWER While getting it on with a potential new boyfriend in a hotel room, Charlie sets fire to the poor jerk’s sheets WORDS OF WARNING ”You don’t want this!” NASTY VILLAIN Malcolm McDowell, uglified with a melted face, claw hand, and horrible script APOCALYPSE NOW REDUX Dennis Hopper once again plays a philosophical kook with crazy end-of-the-world theories THAT ‘80S SHOW CAMEO Too Close for Comfort’s Deborah Van Valkenburgh, as an ill-fated mutant TV DEJA VU When Hopper says ”I’m so sorry, Charlie,” you immediately think of Star-Kist.