Jason X sounds like it might be a movie about a preppie suburban teenager who joins the Nation of Islam. No such luck. From the opening moments of the 10th entry in the ”Friday the 13th” series, it’s clear that this is the same old Jason Voorhees, with the same old singed flesh peeking out the back of the same old goalie mask, going on a mad-slasher rampage that’s destined to put audiences in the same old stupor.
It will come as no surprise that the movie isn’t scary. But here’s the real damn: It isn’t funny, either. Jason, his body cryogenically frozen, thaws out aboard a spaceship in the year 2455. The film devotes so much energy to imitating the designer shadows and fast-zoom camera glides of a ”smart” techno-thriller that the noncharacters, who include one fembot and three scantily topped human women who talk like fembots, aren’t given enough time to act stupid. Whenever one of them deigns to make so much as the slightest carefree comment, you wait for the momentary arrival of Jason’s blade. It’s worth recalling, since ”Jason X” barely does, that the ”Friday the 13th” films started out as soft-core teensploitation, with bloody mayhem substituting for on-screen climax. On that score, even Jason, by now, can barely keep his machete up.