“That hotel was brilliant. The towels were so fluffy, I could barely close my suitcase.” Mr. Moon (BRIAN COX), Daphne’s kleptomaniac visiting father, on Frasier

“President Bush says he will not remove the trade embargo against Cuba. Which means no Cuban products will be allowed in the United States unless, of course, they can throw a baseball 98 miles per hour.” JAY LENO on The Tonight Show

“Twentieth Century Fox admitted that they over-estimated the box office receipts of the new Star Wars movie by $6 million. A Fox spokesperson said, ‘It was a really stupid mistake. We assumed fans would show up with dates.’” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

“This is the biggest gay celebration since Liza’s wedding.” NATHAN LANE on the farewell episode of The Rosie O’Donnell Show