Guess the strip-club patrons Anna Nicole Smith used to dance for weren’t the only ones who wanted her to ditch her clothes. So does fashion maven Mr. Blackwell, who put the E! reality star on top of his 43rd annual worst-dressed list, released Tuesday. ”Don’t bother with a new designer, Anna,” he advised, ”just hire a structural engineer.”
Coming in second was fellow reality star Kelly Osbourne, who offended Blackwell’s sensibilities not with her profane tongue but by dressing like ”a fright-wigged baby doll, stuck in a goth prom gown.” At No. 3 was the ”overwrought and underdressed” Shakira. Fourth-place Cameron Diaz looked to Blackwell like she’d been ”dressed by a color-blind circus clown.”
Fifth and sixth were easy targets: a British royal (Princess Anne) and a writer (Anne Rice). But at No. 7, he blasted fashion designer Donatella Versace as ”a flash-fried Venus, stuck in a Miami strip mall.” He said No. 8, Meg Ryan, ”looks like a swap-meet fashion queen in Beverly Hills.” Rounding out the top 10 were Christina Aguilera (”Her barely there bimbo bombs wouldn’t cover a gnat,”) and Pink (whose outfits were ”cartoon-colored proof that any fashion sanity for her is really dead”). Surprisingly, no mention of Gwyneth Paltrow, whose unflattering Oscar gown might have been expected to earn her a best unsupported actress award from Blackwell.
It wasn’t all catty bile from Blackwell (a.k.a. Richard Selzer), who also released a best-dressed list, topped by Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, ”Chicago”’s Renée Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Nicole Kidman, Debra Messing, Oprah Winfrey, Kate Winslet, Reese Witherspoon, and Jordan’s Princess Firyal. But really, what fun is that list?