Colin Quinn: Nico Barani
Bruce Fretts
March 14, 2003 AT 05:00 AM EST

Tough crowds are nothing new to Colin Quinn. The Brooklyn-born stand-up endured two and a half rocky seasons as anchorman of ”Saturday Night Live”’s ”Weekend Update.” Now Comedy Central has given him his own half-hour show, ”Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn” (Mondays-Thursdays at 11:30 p.m.), a raucous roundtable of comics taking on current events. But can Quinn withstand EW’s onslaught of tough — albeit stupid — questions?

During ”Tough Crowd”’s test run last year, you booked your old pal Jerry Seinfeld. How often can you call in that chit?
I’m already bothering him. You’ve gotta catch him the right way — he’s slippery. But I’m calling in all my chits, believe me. Chris Rock’s coming on, and I’ll get that son of a bitch Sandler, too.

Will you boycott French and German comedians until they back the U.S. position on Iraq?
We’ve already been boycotting them. Although the French kept Jerry Lewis out of our hair for 30 years, so we’ve gotta show them a little respect.

Do you think Frenchie should’ve been booted from ”American Idol” for posing nude?
With ”Girls Gone Wild” and everything else, I don’t know if you could find anyone who doesn’t have a nude picture out there.

Any porn secrets from your past you’d like to confess?
Somebody once took a picture of one of my friends smacking me on the head with his d–k while I was sleeping. I’m hoping that won’t reveal itself.

Colin Powell spells his first name the same way you do, yet he pronounces it Colon. What’s up with that?
I do resent it, but I think with me and Colin Farrell pushing in our direction, he’s going to have to come on board.

You started out on cable with MTV’s ”Remote Control,” went to network with ”SNL,” and now you’re back on cable. Has your career come full circle?
It’ll come full circle when I’m back bartending. ”Aren’t you…?” ”Yeah, what can I get ya?” ”Whatever happened to you? Oh, yeah, there was that picture of you with the guy hitting you with his d–k.”

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