When you mix ”Blue Crush” with ”American Idol” and ”The Real World,” you’ve got the makings of some rad TV, bro. And from what we’ve seen on a highlight tape of MTV’s ”Surf Girls” (debuting May 12 at 10:30 p.m.), we’re pretty stoked about watching 14 wave-loving babes travel to Australia, Samoa, Tahiti, and Hawaii to compete for a spot in a major pro surfing event. Tears, gnarly catfights, ubiquitous product placement — we’ve seen it all before — but somehow it looks even better with a backdrop of waves, bikinis, and wet suits. Below, a guide to the familiar cast.
NEVA, 19 (”Joe Millionaire”’s antisocial dark horse, Zora) The Puerto Rican shortboarder quotes nearly verbatim reality TV’s most saintly star: ”If I had met the girls in the house under different circumstances, I don’t think I would have anything to do with them.” No, this doesn’t sound like a great attitude, but then again, Zora did walk off with the prize.
MARY, 20 (problem child Brynn from ”The Real World Las Vegas”) The So Cal surf diva immediately clashes with housemates: ”I try to say anything to Mary these days, and she just gives me this, like, [look of utter disgust],” a fellow surf girl says. Not sure what the conflict here is, but we vote Mary most likely to throw a fork.
PRO SURFER JUDGE LISA ANDERSEN (”American Idol”’s guest judges) As an utterly unfamiliar blonde in a sweatshirt and baggy pants appears to explain some competition rules, surfer girl Jenna gushes, ”Omigod, she’s right there.” Turns out she’s, like, a four-time world champion or something.
HEIDI, 19 (phobic drama queen Melissa from ”Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes”) When the baby-faced blonde sees the choppy water, she blubbers, ”Just everything out there is so dangerous, it’s freaking me out.” She also reveals, ”I don’t do too well in competitions.” Which part of surfing contest didn’t she understand?
THE CRABBY GUY WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT (who else?) ”The thing is, girls, it’s crunch time,” Australian trainer Rob Rowland-Smith grouses. We have no idea who he is, but a year ago, we’d never heard of Simon Cowell, either.