Sumeet Bal
August 01, 2003 AT 04:00 AM EDT

On July 17’s Dateline NBC, we saw Ben and J. Lo as we’ve ”never seen them before.” And as we will never see them again — we hope. How do you measure an hour of ick? EW’s Pain-O-Meter, of course! Herewith, the most wince-inducing moments.

7:36 Jen, told by Pat O’Brien that America is fascinated with their romance: ”It’s so weird to even hear you say that.” Oh, come on!

34:16 Ben musing on Jenny From the Block’s rags-to-riches life: ”It’s a real Horatio Alger story.” Oh, no, he didn’t!

39:12 J. Lo: ”When they pick a new Sexiest Man Alive, it’s going to be a lie — you’re the Sexiest Man Alive.” PLEASE KILL ME NOW!

54:38 J. Lo on the couple’s fan-bait wedding day: ”If there happen to be cameras outside then that’s fine.” Make it stop!

56:22 J. Lo, seeing cameras outside her home: ”That’s the paparazzi…. This is crazy. Oh, my God. I can’t believe this.” Ow, it burns!

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