1 HUNTING FOR BAMBI Many journalists fell for the hoax that shooting running naked women with paint-ball guns was a real sport. A lot of them fell for golf, too.
2 NIP/TUCK A new series about two plastic surgeons and the clients who need them. Most of their patients need bigger brains – not bigger breasts.
3 GIGLI If only there were a way J. Lo and Ben could get worldwide publicity for it, like going grocery shopping or something.
4 AMERICAN WEDDING No. 3 in the American Pie series. P.S. Send out the cake for DNA testing before you eat it.
5 LIZA MINNELLI Maybe the separated actress should go back to work. She can always star in a TV show called Straight Eye for the Queer Guy.
6 LAST COMIC STANDING The finale will decide which one goes on to play in tiny, dirty nightclubs for the rest of his life – and which one wins.
7 BOBBY PINS Carrie Bradshaw wore bunches of them in her hair one week on Sex and the City and now they’re everywhere. And much cheaper than Manolo Blahnik shoes.
8 101 THINGS REMOVED FROM THE HUMAN BODY From Fox, of course. The only thing they couldn’t remove was Sean Hannity’s head from his butt.
9 DOT-COMA It seems 13-to 24-year-olds now spend more time online than they do watching television. So much for there being too much sex and violence on TV.
10 PEACEMAKERS Marshal Tom Berenger and his sidekicks in the 1880s use newfangled ideas like fingerprints to catch criminals. Originally called CSI: Boot Hill.