Pamela Anderson: Ethan Miller/Las Vegas Sun/Reuters/Newscom/Newscom
Gary Susman
September 09, 2003 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Pamela Anderson’s onscreen career as a sex goddess may have its origin in her traumatic early sexual experiences, starting with a rape she suffered when she was 18 and blocked from her memory for years.

”My first experience with sex was nonconsensual,” she writes in the October issue of Jane magazine. ”The guy ran around afterward in a panic, saying, ‘What have I done, what have I done?’ Looking back, it was awful. I felt like everyone knew that I had had sex, like it was tattooed on my forehead. That was one thing I never told my mom until a few years ago.”

The 36-year-old writes of other unhappy early sexual experiences, recalling that she experienced her first orgasm ”at a volleyball camp with this boy, and the next day, he was in a tournament. I hopped on my bike and cycled for seven hours to get there. He didn’t even look at me.”

She endured another assault when ”I started growing breasts, discovered makeup and had my clothes ripped off by a crazy abusive guy I was dating who locked me outside my house naked.” Concludes the ”Stripperella” star, ”I’ve been running around naked ever since!”

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