1 MISS AMERICA With all those young contestants, it should lower the average age of visitors to Atlantic City – from 79 to 78.
2 REALITY AWARDS It’s a chancy idea. What if ABC can’t get the really big stars to show up – like Darva Conger and Richard Hatch?
3 BENNIFER WEDDING Unless she’s planning on flipping out and getting arrested after they close the open bar, who cares?
4 ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO The third in the El Mariachi trilogy. Antonio Banderas fights for truth and justice. Cool, but is it also in 3-D?
5 SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION TOUR ”It starts the 18th.” ”No, it starts the 19th.” ”No, you butthead, it starts the 18th.” ”Would you shut up for once and listen…”
6 CABIN FEVER A horror movie about terrible things that happen to twentysomethings in an isolated shack in the woods. It’s a wonder no one’s come up with that idea before.
7 THE CAR BOAT For about $235,000 you can have a car that goes 100 mph on land and a boat that goes over 30 mph in water. Or for $100 you could buy a trailer hitch.
8 BURNING THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY Someone is setting fire to the famous covered bridges in Iowa. Is it a book or a movie critic?
9 NIC CAGE The Oscar winner enjoys keeping poisonous snakes as pets. No wonder he’s still single. ”My pet can eat your pet” is not a good pick-up line.
10 TOE SHORTENING Some women are having the procedure so they can better wear pointy-toed shoes. The good news is that pointy hats are out of fashion.