Jim Mullen
December 26, 2003 AT 05:00 AM EST

Jim Mullen’s Hot Sheet for the week of Dec. 26, 2003

1 CALIFORNIA RECALL The people of California have spoken. They don’t want Arnold to make any more movies either.

2 ‘QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY’ A surprise hit show in which five gay men try to turn a straight man into a human. For people who like science fiction.

3 THE BRITNEY-MADONNA KISS Shocking! Absolutely shocking! Wanna see it again? You’ll be shocked. One more time? Okay, but only a couple of hundred more times and that’s it. It’s too shocking.

4 GENERATION $ Paris Hilton, Rich Girls, Born Rich. Money’s great. Look at all it’s done for Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart.

5 BEN AFFLECK & JENNIFER LOPEZ They called off the wedding of the year, breaking two hearts: Extra’s and Access Hollywood’s.

6 THE ATKINS DIET Here’s the plan: Eat all the greasy, fatty meat you want and still lose weight. It works because the calories can’t stick to you.

7 IRAQ PLAYING CARDS Saddam was the ace of spades in the Pentagon’s latest billion-dollar weapon. If that doesn’t get him they plan to drop Yahtzee on his ass.

8 FILE SWAPPING The record industry sued music fans for sharing their favorite songs over the Internet. Because it infringes on the constitutional right of music execs to overpay themselves.

9 METROSEXUALS The new word for fashionable men who use high-end grooming products yet aren’t gay. Replacing the terms ”city folk” and ”highfalutin.”

10 HOME-DECORATING SHOWS Trading Spaces, While You Were Out, Surprise by Design, etc., are the darlings of cable TV. A quick tip: Getting rid of your TV set makes any room look bigger.

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