Jim Mullen
January 09, 2004 AT 05:00 AM EST

Jim Mullen’s Hot Sheet for the week of January 9, 2004

1 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS What better time to make big, life-changing decisions than when you’re drunk and sleepy?

2 THE APPRENTICE In this reality TV show, contestants try out as employees of Donald Trump. The grand-prize winner gets to work for someone else.

3 MICHAEL JACKSON Can he get a fair trial in California? By the time they find 12 people who have never heard of him, he’ll be so old he’ll be sleeping with 15-year-olds.

4 SPIDER HOLES In Manhattan they’re called apartments and rent for $2,200 a month. Plus utilities.

5 J. LO In a Super Bowl public service ad, she will urge the disengaged to register to vote. Hell, even if your wedding went as planned you should register to vote.

6 FLU SHOTS They didn’t make enough flu vaccine, and the little they did make was the wrong kind. Who runs this program? The Pentagon?

7 OSCAR JOCKEYING They say winning an Oscar can add millions of dollars to a film’s bottom line. So would throwing fewer premiere parties.

8 END-OF-THE-YEAR LISTS The 10 Best ABC Shows on ABC. The 10 Best CDs for 13-Year-Olds. The 10 Best Months of 2003. Sorry, March and October. Better luck next year.

9 UGG BOOTS The hard-to-find sheepskin boots were the Tickle Me Elmo of fashion. People bought them on eBay for twice the original price. But Mommy, I wanted a doll.

10 PIMP JUICE Based on a Nelly song, the provocatively named fruit drink is raising eyebrows. What’s next, a six-ounce Lil’ Pimp for infants?

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