We rank ”Sex and the City”’s best and worst lovers
It’s a daunting task — separating the Hirsute Harrys from the Peeing Politicians. But now that the little (or thick) black books of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte are closing for good, it’s time to sort through the carnage of crushes, one-night stands, relationships, pseudo-relationships, dates, and men of God (well, just one: Friar F—) to present our picks for the best and worst ”Sex” men.
Why we loved ”Sex and the City”’s Mr. Big
Who knew all those years ago, when Big stopped on the street to help Carrie pick up the strip of condoms that had fallen out of her purse, that one of the great television romances was about to begin? He was retro to her trendy, cigar-chomping to her cigarette-puffing, smug to her soulful. Granted, Big was difficult, cocky, and had a phobia of the C-word (easy, Samantha, we mean ”commitment”). But he was also the guy who scored a horse-drawn carriage to take Carrie to the hospital when Miranda was giving birth, the ex who brought a bouquet of red balloons on her otherwise horrible 35th birthday, the closet romantic who, when asked by Carrie if he’d ever been in love, answered with that devilish grin, ”Abso-f—in’-lutely.”
Why we loved ”Sex and the City”’s Steve Brady
Miranda may have thought she could bulldoze this outer-borough bartender (when she demanded another glass of wine at their first meeting, Steve insisted that she say ”please”), but he turned out to be the one man who was able to tame both her inner beast and her beastly coif. This least-likely-to-live-happily-ever-after lawyer ended up with the love of her life and baby Brady. Granted, the fairy tale ends in Brooklyn, but you can’t have everything.
Why we loved ”Sex and the City”’s Smith Jerrod
The model-turned-actor had all the characteristics of a standard Samantha one-nighter: a great bod, a pretty face, and a billboard over Times Square. So how shocking was it that he ended up being her true love? Shaving his head in sympathy with his cancer-stricken girlfriend was one of the most romantic moments of the entire series.
Why we loved ”Sex and the City”’s Aidan Shaw
Maybe the problem with Aidan was that he was too perfect: scruffy-hot furniture maker with a cute (albeit Manolo-chewing) dog, a country home, and unwavering adoration for Carrie. If only Miss Bradshaw had been ready to settle down…
Maria the Lesbian
Why we loved ”Sex and the City”’s Maria the Lesbian
”I’ve done the girl thing once, twice — usually involving a guy and a couple quaaludes,” Samantha told the Brazilian artist who wanted her to be more than a painting partner. No quaaludes this time, though, and Samantha actually sustained her first relationship of the series.
Why we hated ”Sex and the City”’s Mr. Big
No matter how much you think a guy is your soul mate, if he can’t even bring himself to talk about settling down until he thinks he’s at death’s door, it’s finally time to pay attention to those deafening alarm bells.
Why we hated ”Sex and the City”’s Aleksandr Petrovsky
He was a successful, talented, and world-famous artist. And he had about as much in common with Carrie as a cup of borscht does with a cosmopolitan. When Aleksandr announced to Carrie (after being chilly and rude to all of her friends) that ”I am finished with New York,” we felt the same way about him.
Why we hated ”Sex and the City”’s Richard Wright
Richard started off as just a ”perfect d—” to Samantha but ended up being the one man who had her longing for commitment. They had no shame, going at it in his plane, in his office, and on his rooftop. But shame on him for abusing Samantha’s love by getting caught between another woman’s legs.
Why we hated ”Sex and the City”’s Trey MacDougal
When Trey came to Charlotte’s rescue after she stumbled in front of his taxi, he appeared to be the perfect package. Unfortunately, the package wasn’t exactly perfect. Not only was Trey sexually impotent, but after Charlotte learned she would have trouble getting pregnant, she discovered that her husband had a big problem with emotional impotence as well.
Why we hated ”Sex and the City”’s Jack Berger
”I sparked with this person,” Carrie said after meeting the charming and hilarious Jack Berger. ”I never spark!” Unfortunately, the man who seemed adorably self-deprecating turned out to be unbearably neurotic, and when Carrie criticized his novel, she was dumped via Post-it.