Jim Mullen’s Hot Sheet for the week of April 2, 2004
1 BRITNEY SPEARS She had to cancel a concert because she injured her knee. Would she cancel if she had merely lost her voice?
2 DEADWOOD A new Western series on HBO about ultra-violent cowboys who cuss and swear like they’re on The Sopranos. It was originally going to be called Gun-f – -ing-smoke.
3 CALL ME: THE RISE AND FALL OF HEIDI FLEISS She was a madam. This is Hollywood’s idea of a Greek tragedy.
4 MADONNA She’s announced plans for the Reinvention tour this summer. To which many concertgoing 13-year-olds said, ”Who’s Madonna?”
5 PARIS HILTON The vapid hotel heiress was thrown from a horse while filming The Simple Life 2. Don’t worry, the horse was not injured.
6 THE LADYKILLERS Colonel Sanders look-alike Tom Hanks plans to steal a casino’s cash. Or the list of KFC’s secret herbs and spices.
7 OMAROSA Being fired by Donald Trump has been a huge career boost for her. She’s planning to get fired next by Warren Buffett and then by Bill Gates.
8 JERSEY GIRL Ben Affleck’s wife, Jennifer Lopez, dies in the first 15 minutes. Finally, a movie with a happy beginning and a happy end.
9 GEORGE CLOONEY He’s raising funds for his dad Nick’s run for Congress. Is a kissing booth against campaign finance law?
10 THOM FILICIA The Queer Eye design guy has replaced Kirstie Alley as the spokesperson for Pier 1. Which will make it the No. 1 place to register for your gay wedding.