EW Staff
April 09, 2004 AT 04:00 AM EDT

EW contributor Jim Mullen insists he’s a happily married man of 32 years. No telling what Mrs. Mullen thinks of the ”Hot Sheet” writer’s new parody book, My First Wedding: A Planner for Modern Couples (Simon & Schuster, $12.95). In it, he offers practically hilarious advice on everything from setting a date (”This depends on many things, the most important being: When is the baby due?”) to preparing for the big night (”Once you have the ring, it is no longer necessary or desirable to keep sleeping with your fiance”).

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