Shii went out with a bang!
Say what you want about Shii Ann, and people have said a lot ever since ”Thailand,” but she’s been the best thing going about ”Survivor: All-Stars” the past two weeks. She added a little spice, a little sass, and a little scandal. And now she’s gone. But what a way to go! I’m not just talking about some angry post vote-out confessional words, but calling it all out right smack dab in the middle of Tribal Council.
I loved how after dissing Jenna for being so obsessed about the food, and then publicly calling out all the tribal alliances, Probst looked at her and asked, ”You got everything out?” To which she replied ”No,” and then went on to say how her vote would pinpoint the biggest threat on the island. SHII DEVIL WAS IN THE HOUSE!!! Only, there is no house, so I guess technically she was ”on the island,” although that doesn’t sound nearly as cool. Although, then again, nothing I say ever sounds cool, so I guess it’s just same ole, same ole.
Shii Ann also saved what was, until that point, turning out to be a pretty boring episode. What was up with the whole visit-from-home thing? Didn’t we already have to suffer through all those videos and letters from loved ones a few weeks back? Going to that same well twice in one season was more All-Lame than All-Star, even if I am somewhat fascinated by Bucky Bo. (I was at least hoping Jenna’s creepy brother was going to get into fisticuffs with Probst over the whole water-drinking debate. My money was on you, Jeff.) Otherwise, sure, Rupert’s rift with Jenna was interesting, but anyone who has watched even one episode of ”Survivor” knows Jenna annoys the hell out of EVERYONE, so that wasn’t the biggest shocker.
So, like last week, it came down to immunity with Shii Ann needing to win to save her butt. It came down to just her and Big Tom after everyone else ran out of matches. Truth be told, I wasn’t rooting for either of them. I wanted them both to run out as well just to see what the hell Probst would have done then. Seriously, how hilarious would that have been?
Now, I’ve met John Kirhoffer, the challenge producer — excuse me while I pick up that name I just dropped — and he is a sucker for preparation. But you can’t tell me they actually had a contingency plan for that thing. What would have happened? No immunity for anyone? Immunity for everyone? Some sort of tie-breaker where they all compete to do the best impersonation of a break-dancing robot? I’m seriously DYING to find out.
Actually, I think I may just die for real if Amber wins this thing. Even waltz-into-the-winner’s-circle Vecepia and Sandra did more to earn their crown then Amber has. Do I THINK she’ll win? Well, you’ll have to wait until next week’s issue of EW where we profile the five remaining contestants and their odds for taking home the loot.
You should really pick it up, if for no other reason than the fact that it comes out on a Friday, the day AFTER the next episode, and if recent history is any guide, the person I predict as victor will no longer even be on the show. Then you write me letters telling me what an idiot I am. Which you probably do anyway. But who do YOU think is primed to win? That’s not a rhetorical question either. We have a message board! You can tell us! It’s the Internet — crazy!