NEIL The sensitive, tortured artiste. MICHAEL The fast-talking, slow-thinking schemer.
NEIL I’m sick of just writing about music – I wanna unleash my inner P. Diddy. But I can’t afford studio time or even a computer. What should I do?
MICHAEL Wait, I got an idea. You have a PlayStation 2, don’t ya? There’s this game that’ll let you make the phat trax without having to shell out major ducats. By the way, do you have that $20 you owe me?
THE NEXT DAY
NEIL Yo, check it out. The MTV Music Generator 2. It’s even got Funkmaster Flex on the box. Time to get busy. Hey, you got $30?
NEIL Oh, yeah! I’m nice with this – these beats are bangin’!
MICHAEL They’d better be – I’ve got you appointments with three of the hottest labels in the game. Kanye West, watch your back!
KEVIN LILES, PRESIDENT, DEF JAM/DEF SOUL RECORDS This doesn’t do anything for me. First, I would tell Sony to get some new sounds in there. Then I would send you home to do your homework. This leaves a lot to be desired.
ERROL KOLOSINE, GENERAL MANAGER, ASTRALWERKS I didn’t hear anything that was fundamentally unique to me, it sounded a little out of the box…to me, those sound like very, very, very, very, very early demos. Sorry.
TREVOR JERIDEAU, DIRECTOR, A&R, J RECORDS I think you have good material. It’s far from lame. I think you sound promising, but I definitely think you should go back and tighten your skills up. Come bring me some more stuff in six months.
NEIL Damn! I got slammed.* Well, I guess it’s back to the J-O-B.
MICHAEL This sucks! You and your ideas… Hey, you got that $50 you owe me?
*LISTEN FOR YOURSELF AT EW.COM/MUSICDEMO