Josh Wolk
August 13, 2004 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Sure, the couple abandoned by their tour boat in ”Open Water” (above) wind up as shark bait. But that holiday gone awry is nothing compared to these harrowingly bad trips.

Boat Trip (2002)

DESTINATION Two fun-loving hetero guys mistakenly board a gay cruise only to encounter… DANGER …deck after deck of tired gay stereotypes! FRIGHT FACTOR As jarring as being clobbered over the head with Cuba’s squandered Oscar.

Vegas Vacation (1997)

DESTINATION The reunited Griswold clan heads off to Sin City to find… DANGER …their once-beloved movie franchise has been viciously beaten to death! FRIGHT FACTOR Alas, this is more of a sad trip than a bad trip.

Home Alone (1990)

DESTINATION A family jets to France only to discover… DANGER …that they’ve left their young son at home with criminals. FRIGHT FACTOR Macaulay Culkin, what’s it like to still be asked to make this expression at age 23? Aaaahh!!

On Golden Pond (1981)

DESTINATION An elderly couple visit their lakeside summer house… DANGER …and are terrorized by a 13-year-old wiseass. FRIGHT FACTOR Have you spent time with a 13-year-old lately? At least sharks don’t roll their eyes and sulk.

Midnight Express (1978)

DESTINATION A young entrepreneur jaunts to Turkey… DANGER …and, a few smuggled hash blocks later, winds up in prison for years. FRIGHT FACTOR It’ll make you rethink your travel agent’s ”Mule Time at Yule Time” holiday package to Turkey.

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