”Big Brother”: Marvin schemes, Adria scrams
”She got a whole lotta mouth.” — Marvin the Mortician.
He said that when Adria ambled out of the house last night, but damned if he wasn’t talking about Natalie, too. The mouths on these chicks! Now I know there are plenty of fans who think A&N have been unfairly judged — half of you post your righteous rants at the bottom of this column — so I tried to give Bootylicious Squared the benefit of the doubt last night. And for a minute, I felt their pain. Will was kind of a bee-otch when Natalie entered the jury-sequester house — talking to the camera about knocking her eye out with the champagne cork and all. And the houseguests were crappy for giving Adria the cold shoulder and leaving her alone with her pathetic thoughts on the patio. But then — right when I was imagining myself gabbing about God with the gals and talking about how Jase and Holly were in our prayers — the real A&N reared their ugly heads and showed how they “got a whole lotta mouth!”
Adria became the first evictee in ”BB” history to literally argue her way out the house — bragging about how she and Natalie ”got all you guys” with the twin twist and how they’ll exact their revenge come finale time. And to think some fans accused Will of acting like a poor sport when he was evicted! Guess those were the same fans who failed to acquaint themselves with Wendy McWhiny and her sister, Mabel Moron.
If you had any doubt about how noxious Natalie can be, kindly turn back your TiVo to the moment when she compared Will to freakin’ Charles Manson in the jury house. Literally, she intimated that the hottie homo was some kind of mass murderer who controls the house from his ”prison” on the beach. It was not long after this truly freakish moment that I realized ”BB” was doing Will a big favor by evicting another houseguest on Saturday night — just so he won’t have to endure those women for one full week by himself. Good luck, Willy boy. You’re in for one helluva Labor Day.
But Marvin — Marvin! How sweet was it that he treated Drew like the empty-headed puppet he is by planting the simplest nugget of suspicion — I mean really, it was hardly the size of a grain of sand — into Drew’s carefully coiffed cranium. To break up a powerful alliance, Marvin suggested that he and Drew’s cuddle buddy Diane were becoming a thang by kissing her in front of Cowboy, knowing that Cowboy would go tell Drew what happened. And Drew bought it! It was all so juvenile — and quite possibly the best display of strategy on ”BB5” to date. And how does Drew follow up? Razor Rick acts like he wants to break up with Diane — and boy, does he give her a wicked stare or two — before he rolls on top of her and says he’s just kidding. No wonder he got all soft on the twins; that dude’s the devil.
And now he’s the devil with Head of Household power. Anyone who subscribes to the ”BB” feed can find out who Drew put up for eviction, but I won’t spill it for those people with real lives and a decent bedtime. (I must admit, I ain’t one of them.) So all I’ll say for now is watch your back, Marvin — I really really really want you to win. Please make sure your fellow houseguests won’t start spouting off about how you ”got a whole lotta mouth” and decide to kick your booty out of the house.
Fellow viewers, what do you think? Is ”BB” finally giving us more talk and more action?