Gilbert Cruz
October 01, 2004 AT 04:00 AM EDT

EW rates four new celebrity books

Paris Hilton with Merie Ginsberg’s Confessions of an Heiress The foxy heiress delivers such gems as ”I love tiaras…. I like to wear them to my birthday parties.”

Rumor Denied That she’s a slut.

Bodily Self-Reference She wore padded bras until age 17.

Moment of Delusion ”Once I decided to start acting and singing, I think everyone snickered and thought I’d never really pull it off. It’s fun proving everyone wrong!”

Bottom Line For good and ill, like a hardcover Vogue. B-

Tom Green with Allen Rucker’s Hollywood Causes Cancer From bunking in his parents’ basement to Drew Barrymore’s bed, Green chronicles his quick rise to fame.

Rumor Denied That he dressed as Hitler at a bar mitzvah.

Bodily Self-Reference ”There is no scar on my scrotum.”

Moment of Delusion ”Obviously there was an audience for it. I hear from Freddy [Got Fingered] lovers all the time.”

Bottom Line His childish antics induce more chuckies on the page. B+

Wendy Williams with Karen Hunter’s The Wendy Williams Experience The radio host rags on rappers and lauds her interviewing skills.

Rumor Denied That she hates P. Diddy.

Bodily Self-Reference While discussing Whitney Houston’s breast implants, she adds: ”I got ’em too. I mean, aren’t they the best?”

Moment of Delusion ”Almost everyone I interview, when it’s over, has moist or sweaty palms….”

Bottom Line Like her show, bombastic and scattershot. C

Sean Astin with Joe Layden’s There and Back Again Now best known as Frodo’s bitch, the actor recalls Rudy, his many crap movies, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Rumor Denied None.

Bodily Self-Reference His hair: ”Follically gifted, as it were.”

Moment of Delusion ”While I wasn’t yet famous, I did (and still do) have political aspirations of my own.”

Bottom Line Toothless, but the Rings chapters will appeal to hobbit hounds. B

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