Dalton Ross’s Hit List for the week of Nov. 5, 2004
1 LENNY KRAVITZ SUED FOR OVERFLOWING COMMODE An insurance company wants reimbursement because Krapitz’s — er, Kravitz’s — toilet was clogged with ”various materials.” At press time, it was unclear if ”career” was included on that list.
2 BUSH’S GAVIN ROSSDALE DISCOVERS HE HAS A TEENAGE DAUGHTER She could hang out all the time with Rossdale’s goddaughter…if they weren’t the exact same person!
3 ELECTION DAY IS ALMOST HERE Remember, if you don’t vote the right way, killer wolves will attack you and rip the flesh from your bones. (Not that those ads are trying to scare you.)
4 SYLVESTER STALLONE to help launch sly magazine The way I look at it, if you can get a major motion picture made about arm wrestling, you can pretty much do anything you damn please.
5 PARIS HILTON SAID TO DESIGN OWN HOTEL SUITE THAT PEOPLE CAN RENT WHEN SHE’S NOT STAYING THERE Because apparently not enough people have seen Paris Hilton’s bedroom as of yet. (Oh, you knew that was coming.)
6 STAR WARS: EPISODE III TRAILER TO DEBUT NOV. 4 Any way we can train those wolves and sic ‘em on Jar Jar?
7 SURVIVING CHRISTMAS TANKS At least Ben Affleck can take heart that one curse was broken when his Red Sox beat the Yankees. (Just 86 more years on the box office thing!)
8 AC/DC GET LANE NAMED AFTER THEM IN MELBOURNE And no, it’s not the highway to hell. Or is it…?
9 SUPREME COURT WEIGHS SUIT OVER WHO CAME UP WITH IDEA FOR SCHWARZENEGGER’S JINGLE ALL THE WAY Is this really the type of thing you want to fight to put your name on? Sinbad was involved, for chrissakes. Sinbad!
10 HAPPY HALLOWEEN My Ashlee Simpson costume is awesome! I just look confused and blame everything on my band.